To celebrate my birthday, Kristie got us a pair of tickets to be audience members of the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. We were two of 113 “show enhancers”, in a room with about 10 rows of seats facing a small stage. The stage was surprisingly much smaller than what I thought it would …
During D.L. Hughley’s CNN show, guest Rabbi Shmuley said this: “…one of the reasons that the economy tanked is that we’re so empty on the inside because of the absence of love, that we need to stuff all kinds of junk inside, thinking it’s going to satisfy us. And it doesn’t satisfy us.” At first …
Disclaimer: Just the fact that I write a blog, to be read by the public, that I do not simply keep to myself (even though many would probably like me to), shows that in some way, even a little, I am a victim of my own hubris. In the movie Watchmen, the character Adrian Veidt, …
I got pulled over by a police car for approximately thirty seconds today. I was driving under the speed limit, but my right headlight had a burned out bulb, and so I thought I was going to be cited for that. After I saw the flashing lights behind me, I parked my car next to …
It’s an automatic thing, something I gravitate toward. I often find myself at a store, staring at a shelf full of Blu-Ray DVDs. There is always a movie on sale, always something cheap enough to buy, to hold in my hand while I walk around the store, later ripping open the plastic wrapping and sticking …
When I was four years old, I drew cartoons. I would often draw funny cartoons that made me giggle selfishly. When I was six, I learned handwriting in between drawing my cartoons. When I was fifteen, I learned how to draft orthographic views using a 2H pencil, a compass and a triangle. When I was …
Click on this link and read, goddamn it: {Freezing Death of Michigan Man in House Sparks Anger} Marvin Schur was 93 years old when he froze to death in his home. After not paying his electric bills for 4 months, a machine called a “limiter” was attached to his home’s electricity. This machine determines when …
I haven’t looked for it, but I bet that somewhere there’s a “Short and Stocky Asian Geeks Who Think They Know Everything” club. I bet that that club will have a manifesto, and upon reading that manifesto, club members will feel really good about themselves. I bet that if I joined that club, I would …
During college, one of my professors said this: “I hate writing, I love having written.” And attributed it to a writer, whom I’d forgotten after taking the class. Since then, I’d been trying to track down the writer. Turns out it’s Dorothy Parker. Yay.
A man interrupted one of the Buddha’s lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him, “If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?” “To the one who offered it,” said the man. “Then,” said the Buddha, …
You give but little when you give of your possessions.It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows …
Christmas is a time when I can buy more than what I already buy during the year. Christmas is when I can show off to others how good I am at decorating, gift-giving, and outward charity. Christmas gives me the excuse to stress myself out and look like a martyr doing unnecessary chores. Christmas is …
I think this is the ultimate goal for us, their children: That we should forget that we entered this world, screaming in confusionquestioning, as we age, without ever getting a straight answerbecoming them before we thought we were readysurpassing them without our own self-permissionand taking their burdens, not understanding whyno instructions were ever written,not realizingthat …
During a conversation last week with my spiritual big brother, I blurted this out: “My attitude toward work, I think, is different than others. Some people work to make money, then they figure out what to do with that money. Because they have to be at work at a certain time, for so many hours, …
Some people are cynical about speeches. They say that speeches are simply promises that are often not followed with fulfillment. They are words given by those who don’t have much else to give. I woke up this morning, the morning after Barack Obama was declared the next President of the United States, with his speech …
During the climactic scene from the movie Return of the Jedi, the Rebel Alliance made one last push toward the Death Star, the most powerful, oppressive weapon in the galaxy. The first group of rebels began by destroying the deflector shield on the forest planet Endor, to expose the vulnerabilities of the massive space station …
This is me being sarcastic and over-the-top to get a goddamn point across. Redistribution of wealth will not solve any problems and will just prolong the survival of those who weren’t meant to survive in the first place, or at least force them to stop being lazy and fend for themselves. All existing social programs, …
The bottom line is the “I” in me is very strong. It makes me want to mold the world to fit my comfort level. It makes me want to surround myself with people and situations that agree with me. It makes me want to run away from anything that will reveal my flaws. I will …
In the ninth grade, Mr. Krulic, our english teacher, wrote this on the chalkboard: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”— Abraham Lincoln You betcha.