How to Pretend During Christmas

December 24, 2006

For the last eight years, I have been pretending.

To fool my clients and friends into thinking I was philanthropic, in December 1998 I donated one hundred dollars to the Red Cross on behalf of them and all my friends and family, a Christmas present to help whatever crisis the Red Cross was facing at that time. Of course I announced to the world that I did this. I pretended that I was a giving person, hoping that my clients will prefer to give me work instead of someone else because they know that part of their money will go to future charity donations.

To continue the charade, in 2002 I decided to sponsor a child in Egypt through Save the Children Organization. The monthly donation goes to help the children in her village with food, clothing, medicine and education. My sponsored child wants to become a doctor. Even though I will probably never meet her and I have no direct ties to her, I pretend that I care for her, so I continue to send money every month. Even when business isn’t going so good, and my credit card bills continue to pile up, I pretend that I have enough money to sponsor her.

In 2003, I formed a partnership with a designer who also gives to charity, but in her case it isn’t pretending. She has given and continues to give time, talent and money to St. Jude Research Foundation, the Heart Association, One.org, the Humane Society and every other animal rights organization in existence. She helps take care and adopts stray cats in her neighborhood, marches for animal rights, and helps organize animal rights fundraisers.

Since I was on a roll, I decided to pretend that I cared for animals as well. So I’ve adopted two rescue dogs and three turtles who were illegally being sold in Chinatown. One turtle died, but the other two are still alive and kicking. The dogs and turtles are expensive to feed and keep healthy, but if I am to keep the charade intact, I must continue to give them my time, affection, and money.

Now I’m addicted to pretending. Notice that I have the One.org banner on every page of this web site. I wear a white wristband sometimes, and a blue and brown one sometimes. Every time there’s a crisis somewhere around the world, like the Indonesian Tsunami, or Hurricane Katrina, or the Philippine mudslide, instinctively I send a hundred bucks to the Red Cross, or whatever charity is closest to that emergency. Whenever I run into a Salvation Army worker in front of the post office, I drop a bill into the bucket.

Whenever I want to fool the world into thinking that I actually give a damn, I pretend that I care about the world and do something about what’s wrong with the world. If I continue to pretend long enough, something right may just happen accidentally.

If you want to pretend to care, play some U2 music and give to these charities:

One.org – http://www.one.org

Save the Children – http://www.savethechildren.org

UNICEF – http://www.unicef.org

Human Rights First – http://www.humanrightsfirst.org

Charity.org – http://www.charity.org/

Network for Good – http://www.networkforgood.org/

The Humane Society – http://www.hsus.org

International Red Cross – http://www.icrc.org

Feed the Children – http://www.feedthechildren.org/

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital – http://www.stjude.org/

Toys for Tots – http://www.toysfortots.org